Why I Won’t Be Leaving
I’m just as angry and dismayed as the next Catholic over clerical sex scandals … but I won’t be leaving the Church because of them. I remained Catholic in 2002 when the first round of dreadful priestly crimes and bishop cover-ups were revealed, and I’ll remain even when new exposés come to light.
It wasn’t that these things don’t affect me. On the contrary, I’ve unfortunately known Church leaders—some as personal friends—who have rocked my world by going against the very teachings they imparted or even by living a double life.
- The first occurred while I was in college. My former youth group leader (and a close friend) left his wife for another woman and cut off all contact with me and everyone at the parish.
- In 2008, I learned that another mentor-friend of mine, a priest who taught religion in my high school, was in jail for molesting adolescent boys, including one of my classmates.
Those are just two out of five such leaders in my own life. Each and every revelation was devastating for me, emotionally and/or spiritually.
Why stay then?
For one thing, those leaders are not typical. I’ve had many more Catholic mentors who have enriched my spiritual walk. Most important are the blessings of becoming friends with Jesus when quite young and experiencing God’s love as a Catholic.
Those are not the only reasons I’ve remained though. I needed objective as well as subjective reasons. As a young adult, I researched the claims of the Catholic Church and was surprised at just how much solid evidence there is for them.
For me, there’s no question of leaving the Catholic Church—even when certain members and leaders do terrible things. I love my Savior too much to leave the Church He established and through which He gives me grace in the sacraments and Himself in the Eucharist. No matter how any modern Judas may betray his office and the Lord who put him in it, I would never leave Jesus or the Church He created and still sustains.
My heart goes out to all the victims. I am a survivor of childhood molestation myself, though not at the hands of a cleric. (I can only imagine how much worse that must make the trauma!) I thank God that after a long period of anguish He did heal me—once I forgave the perpetrator and recognized that God never abandoned me but suffered with me. By His limitless love and power may He also heal and bless these victims and bring great good out of their suffering, as He did with Christ’s (and mine).
Jeanette Flood is a freelance writer and speaker. Her first book, Eight Ways of Loving God Revealed by Love Himself comes out in early 2019. See her website: jeanetteflood.dudaone.com.